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breaking over

November 8, 2011
applications, cooking, dreams, food, friendship, good things, life, love, Maddy, memories, Ohio, poetry, recipes, things that make me happy

This weekend has been incredibly social. Since there aren’t time stamp on these entries (what is wrong with knowing the time?) it seems that I’m writing this sometime Tuesday and not just past midnight. Anyways, on Thursday after work, I met up with my friend at a show. It was sort of on a whim since I didn’t have any other plans and I didn’t really feel like being at home. When I got there, I ran into several of my friends, and these friend circles had never intersected before. It was really bizarre, but I had this outrageous happy euphoric feeling seeing all of my friends.

The show was good, but I guess I’m not much for standing around just kind of nodding my head to the music. Afterward, I wanted to dance so much and so badly that I went to Ladies 80′s, but there were so many creepy awkward people there. I just dance with my elbows out.

I had a very relaxing Friday running errands and getting ready for my dinner party on Saturday. Sort of spontaneously, I decided to make dinner for my friends because I wanted to make these apple pie cookies, and I had talked to someone about getting together and making them. Also, sometime sitting in a booth at The Library, I told a few people that I would make dinner for them. Since these two events aligned, I figured I would make the cookies as part of making dinner for people. It was sort of hard because I wanted to cook for everyone I know, but being reasonable, I know I can’t make dinner for like 40 people.

It actually worked out very well. I made the sauce for the lasagna the night before. I would have assembled and par baked the lasagna, but I forgot to buy the actual pasta for it. It ended up that I just went back in the morning. I also prepped the jalapeno cheddar scones and froze them to bake off before dinner.

The next day, I prepped the pastry dough for the cookies, grated a ton of cheese (I grated about a pound by hand before I remembered that I have a food processor), cut up all of the veggies for roasting, assembled the lasagna, and par baked one. My friend came over and we finished making the apple pie cookies. I should have rolled the dough out thinner so we would have had more cookies.

After that, I roasted the vegetables then finished off the lasagna while I baked the jalapeno cheddar scones. While those were cooking, I prepared the upside down pear cakes. While we were eating dinner, I put those in the oven. I didn’t grease the pan well enough so we had to run the knife along the edge, and when we dumped out the little cakes, I got honey all over myself. It’s okay.

I had so much fun cooking and hanging out with everyone, and I would love to cook for my friends again. It did work out so well because the recipe made two 9 x 13 lasagnas, which ended up being the perfect amount to feed about 12 people with varying appetites and then having leftovers. If I only had one lasagna, I would have barely enough food. My friends were also wonderful and cleaned my kitchen while I snuggled with my dog. I was so happy.

Luckily, Daylight Savings was in the middle of the night so I had time to recover before working all day on Sunday.

I’m really looking forward to the Winter Holiday Party, which would be a little tough just because December is a very busy month since I’m already going to Chicago one weekend. Also, there are so many desserts that I want to make. I will definitely make the upside down pear cakes because they’re already gluten free, and I’ll make a cheesecake because I have been craving cheesecake for a while.

I rearranged some of my furniture so now my mismatched bookshelves are all on one wall. This set up works a little bit better, but now my new reading chair is sitting in a bare corner. I have no wall decorations because I’m terrified of having to fill all the holes when I move out. There are already some from the girl who lived here previously. Maybe I should just get over it. Either way, I don’t know what I would put on my walls. I suppose art.

I can’t imagine leaving the people I’ve met in Columbus. I talked to my friend about it briefly when we were having lunch. The choice is moving out of my control with each passing week. My GPA is what it is, and that was decided by June. My GRE scores are set in stone. The only things I have in my control now are my personal statement and my portfolio. I’m running out of time. It’s less than a month to the first deadline. I guess I’m lucky that I live in Columbus because it only takes a day to mail it to campus. I could hand deliver it, but I think I’ll be in Chicago. I want to be done with it before then anyways.

What if I don’t get into graduate school? I told my professor I would apply again next year. It’s a terrifying thought and certainly a possibility but not entirely disheartening. Last year, I was just beginning to write poetry, and I’ve come so far in a year.

Where will I be next year?

to go

October 22, 2011
applications, food, friendship, good things, life, memories, Ohio, recipes

This week has been okay. I took the GRE today, which was fine. I did about the same I did last time, but I’m not too worried about it since that was fine. I was tired because I haven’t been sleeping well lately in general. I was hungry because I didn’t eat anything before the exam, which is my own fault, but I find being a little bit hungry makes me think better.

Yesterday, I went to the Circleville Pumpkin Show, which was so much fun. I generally enjoy fair/festival atmosphere because there is so much going on and everyone enjoys themselves. We had quite a sampling of pumpkin food including pumpkin burger, pumpkin pancake, pumpkin pie (fried and not fried), pumpkin seeds, and pumpkin chili, which was my favorite. I had a lot of fun except for locking myself out of my apartment, but that was my own fault. Luckily, I have wonderful friends.

I really want to try this pumpkin chili recipe.

It’s hard letting go.

Bake Week

October 18, 2011
cooking, recipes, things that make me happy

I’m off work until Sunday because of class and studying for the GRE, which means that I will need study food. Tomorrow, I think I’ll bake up some snacks for myself and because I’ve been wanting to bake. These are some of the things I’m thinking about making:

Homemade Twix Bars – recipe, originally seen here
Homemade Peanut Butter Cups – recipe, originally seen here
Peanut Butter Chocolate Chunk Cookies – recipe (I once made these for a roommate’s birthday)
Chocolate Chip Cookies

Am I craving chocolate and peanut butter? Yes.

I’ll probably make some lemon pasta as comfort food.

I hope I can find someone to help me eat these otherwise I’m going to have to meander around campus and crash a party on Saturday post-GRE to get rid of all these sweets. One thing I learned in college–people love baked goods at parties.

I’ve been wanting to make cheesecake lately too.

midnight on a beach in the Mediterranean

October 3, 2010
cooking, food, friendship, good things, life, memories, recipes

Today was everything I love about autumn, which I think is a much better word than fall. The morning was nice and crisp, almost too cold for the sweatshirt I was wearing, but it had just a hint of winter, which makes me feel alive. By the time I came back to my apartment, I was ready for something warm to eat. It’s definitely soup making time, and I should start looking up recipes for all the soups I wanted to make last year and the year before that I never got around to making. I finished off the last of those pancakes, and before sitting down to do some reading for class, I made some chai.

This chai recipe is the best stuff on Earth. I used to make it all the time in the Chateau, and it would make the whole house smell amazing. I’m sure my neighbors are walking through the stairwell wondering what’s cooking. I know I do that whenever I climb the stairs. The smell of breakfast. The smell of dinner. The dog that barks at us on the second floor. Not only is this recipe delicious but it’s full of memories. Arie first made it for me at his house when I was back in Maryland for winter break a couple of years ago, and we made a huge batch of it for our Winter Holiday Party. I miss those parties. I miss the days of baking, the pounds of butter and dozens of eggs we would buy. I miss sitting down with everyone and eating everything delicious. I’m sad I didn’t go back to Maryland last year for that alone. I remember the last Winter Holiday Party we had. We made those Lemon Glitter Cookies, an amazing cherry pie, Buckeyes, peppermint meringues, white hot chocolate, and chai. It was so much fun, and there was so much love. Always love!

I thought of the chai last night when one of my coworkers made a black tea and added a little bit of soy milk. This stuff is so cheap to make. You can buy a thousand tea bags for $2 and bulk spices cost so little. I’ve had these spices for a couple of years now, and I’ve probably only spent like $3 on them. I know they probably aren’t as fresh as they should be, but it’s still delicious. I’m not too concerned. They’re spices. My mom probably has spices from before I was born, but I’m sure that’s not really an indicator of anything because my mom doesn’t cook stuff like that anymore.

Last night was long, and we got out of work a little bit later than normal. I was surprised with a slightly deeper conversation when we were leaving. I don’t know. Most of the time I feel like I’m a lot older than I am, and I forget that I’m only 22. Hopefully, I still have a lot of my life left to live, but even if I died tomorrow, it wouldn’t be so bad except I don’t know what would happen to Maddy. I’ve experienced love. I’ve had wonderful friends. I’ve been to more countries than some people know exist. Anyways, I have a lot of living to do, and I shouldn’t really dwell on the past as much as I do. I can’t help it because everything constantly reminds me of you, every inch of this city, every gust of wind, every leaf that falls, but I’m dealing with it. I know as the days go on and the years pass, the memories will quiet themselves into memories instead of constant reminders. God knows how often I thought of those days in Madrid. God knows how often I would walk past the volleyball courts, which was everyday since I lived near that part of campus and worked at catering, and I would think of how you said we should play volleyball when the weather was nice. You always had a volleyball in your car for no particular reason. God knows how often I would think about how you held me as though you could love me but didn’t.

I’m young. Evan tells me this all the time, but I don’t listen. I forget. I’m 22. In ten years, I’ll think back, and I’ll be like, “I was so young!” Future self, will you remember how old I felt now? Sometimes I wish I would stop being an in-between age and just be the age I am. That’s what was so nice about living in the dorms and in the Chateau. I lived my age and didn’t think so much about the future, didn’t dwell so much on the past.

Either way, I have a bit of time in my life before I start really worrying about never finding the love I once had. I mean, I shouldn’t really be worrying about popping out kids until I’m at least 30. Then I should really start hunting because then I have to start worrying about birth defects, and I’m running out of time before my eggs shrivel up. That’s not really true at all, but that’s when I think I should start worrying about it. That’s about the time I should be figuring out a baby daddy because I would like to enjoy a couple of years of childless married life before I have 18 years of potty training, toys, books, school, spending an obscene money on new clothes because they grow so quickly, college tuition, and god knows what else.

At least I’ll look like this until I’m about 40 or 50 so I don’t have to worry about my looks going too quickly. Thanks, mom. Thanks, grandma.

The best thing about last night/really really early this morning was biking home in the quiet night, the knifing wind, the smell of winter.

Chai
from Arie from Madhur Jeffrey

1 1/3 cups water
1/2 cup milk
8 cardamom pods
8 whole cloves
1 inch cinnamon stick
2 black tea bags
up to 2 tablespoons sugar to taste

Boil the water, add the spices. Bring back to a simmer and cover for 10 minutes. Add the milk and sugar, stir to mix and bring back to a soft boil. Turn the heat off, add in the tea, and cover for 3 minutes. Strain. Serves 2.

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